Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Love, Logic, Fairytales and Boundaries . . .

I can’t help but remember when I was younger; a common phrase used “When I grow up . . .” Now we are all grown up, and how do we make it stop?  Before we lived by the rules our parents set for us, and now we live by our own rules.  We set boundaries and draw lines in the sand, we develop these walls that are meant to keep others out, but really we just cage ourselves in.  

At some point we have to decide.  Do we spend our lives laying bricks, building the walls meant to keep those who hurt us out, and those who potentially pose a threat.  Or do we raise our white flag, and cross the lines that are too dangerous to cross?  We have to make our own mistakes, learn our own lessons.   
Cinderella, Prince Charming, a white dress, a perfect complexion, the fairytale.  When do we grow up and stop believing?  Logically these things don’t exist, but as girls it’s our future, as women it’s so close we can taste it.  We strive for a love full of singing birds, white picket fences, “you had me at hello . . .” and glass slippers.  Nobody ever comes to you and tells you that first you will be dragged through the mud, broken down in so many ways that you begin to believe there is no bandage big enough to protect the wound in your heart.  And after we have experienced, we may be a little beaten up but we jump right back in the ring.   The pain is a different kind of pain; you inflicted it upon yourself despite all the warning signs. And when dust has cleared, and you have sobered from the same Kool-Aid everyone else is drinking you are brought back to logic, walls, and boundaries. 
Love is a drug, heroin for our soul.  The most addictive; the most fatal. You instantly become an addict with your first hit, and when it’s all gone all you want is more.  You hallucinate fairytales when you are at your highest high, and you become “Lovesick” at your lowest low.  Logic is our hangover, you know what you are doing when you’re drunk and high on love, you know the consequences when you wake up in the morning.  So why do we do it, why do we drink the Kool-Aid?  It’s the fairytale.  Pushing the boundaries letting go of logic; knowing that one day someone special enough is going to come along and hold your hand well you cross that line that was always too dangerous to cross. 

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